A Volunteer’s Inner Journey

Written by Radhika Chhabra

I found Bookworm Trust online a little more than a year ago after I moved to Goa from the capital city and I’m so glad I did, on both fronts. Settled in my new environment, I felt a piece of me still missing. I searched for a more meaningful way to give back to society that had encircled me with nature and got me living a life that I had always imagined.

Through Bookworm, I started volunteering at the Chimbel MOP sessions, an outreach community program for kids not too far from home. I loved the library setup they had created, such a great way to inculcate the love for books and reading at an early age. I was inspired by the resource team who always came well organized for the session with Read Aloud, Book Talks, Circle Time, games and other arts and crafts activities, while I observed and engaged. My first impressions of the children were how eager to learn and bright they were and how good some of the kids’ grasp for the English language was (they even knew the difference between fiction & non-fiction!).I was overwhelmed at first, not by the number of children or the chaos of the session but by how much unconditional love and warmth I received from them, without really doing much to earn it. I wanted to merge, engage in conversations and try to make them feel comfortable around me. I love to read myself and seeing the joy in their eyes every time they got engrossed in a book, made me happy, and before I knew it, I had won some of their hearts.

When I came home after the sessions, I felt tired, yet a different kind of energy remained, which I didn’t quite understand at first but whatever it was, it made me feel good.

The sessions soon became something I started to look forward to twice a week. The guilt factor set in when I missed a class. It was then that I knew that, like I needed to exercise my body to keep fit, I needed these sessions to keep my mind positive, my thoughts grounded so that it could take me far away from a world of selfish pursuits.

As the weeks went on, the children came and went, some old, some new, it was hard to keep track and remember all their names, my memory often failed me, but my commitment remained intact. I shared special bonds with some of the girls who came regularly. They would wait for me and I often saw big smiles, when they came running down the street to greet me, hold my hand and take me to the library, and would often fight among themselves to find a spot next to me.

As I encouraged them to read, learn new words, be confident to do a book talk or an art activity, they taught me patience and the joy of simple pleasures. Growing up in India’s capital city, my grasp for Hindi came in handy as I translated words and stories. Circle time became something special; I was surprised how quickly I learnt all the songs, enjoyed doing the expressions and even added a song that was my son’s favourite growing up. However, some days were harder than others, some of the boys were naughty, loud, aggressive and often distracted the class. I felt drained, I tried to control them but failed miserably. They all knew I could be easily manipulated and carried on with their mischievous behavior. On one particular day, I tried a different approach. It was a session before Diwali where we made diyas and distributed sweets. While I distributed to all the other kids, I did not want to reward the boys for bad behavior. After all the kids left I asked them whether they were deserving of the sweets, the boys were quiet and kept their heads down. I eventually did give them the sweets, my heart was not as strong as I thought, and for a split second I hoped they learnt something from it.

When I was assigned the task to gather the kids for the session, frankly, at first, I was apprehensive walking down the streets talking to the mothers and the new kids. I saw many curious eyes on me but when the numbers started coming in it felt like sweet success! On the same day something magical happened, as I passed the mosque, it was that time of the day when the prayers started. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a mosque, however, I observed some of the kids covering their heads. So, I decided to do the same with the scarf that was around my neck, as an act of respect. To my surprise one of the girls who said, “You don’t need to do that.” I know she meant that I’m not Muslim, but at that moment, religion aside, I just wanted to imbibe the soothing voice of the priest and live in that moment, after which I felt a tight squeeze of a little hand in mine, followed by a hug and happy tears. I now understood what Sadhguru meant when he said, “If tears of love, joy and empathy have not washed your cheeks, you are yet to taste life”.I truly believe that life’s inspiration and magic happen when we are kind enough to give to others without expectations. It creates a transformation within, a happy state of being which no amounts of money, comforts or possessions can bring.

“The best way to find yourself, is to lose yourself in the service of others”

– Mahatma Gandhi